


'You're my light'

by whatmakeslarrybeautiful



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blind Harry, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Medical Inaccuracies, One Shot, Sad, its not too depressing though, larry - Freeform, supportive Louis, well he's going blind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-23
Updated: 2015-06-23
Packaged: 2018-04-05 19:29:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4192125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatmakeslarrybeautiful/pseuds/whatmakeslarrybeautiful
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is going blind, and the thought of never being able to see Louis again is tearing him up. Except, Louis is so perfect, assuring him only his sight will leave him, not Louis himself. Not ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	'You're my light'

“Mr. Styles, I’m very sorry to inform you, your vision is declining, and you’re going to lose your vision. There is nothing that can be done.”

 Harry remembers the words from the doctors from six months back. It was unexpected, shocking. He had gone because of frequent headaches and brief moments of dark entering his eyes, but he never even thought that it could have been this serious.

Harry had, of course, freaked out in the beginning. He had broken down completely; knowing that he soon wouldn’t be able to see things he love, see people he love. How he would have a restriction on doing things he love. A whole world was going to be ripped away from him. It took him a long while to get past the denial stage. But he did. 

After a while, he just felt numb towards it, cherishing the moments having sight. Though, he thought, maybe Louis had taken the news worse than him.

Louis had stayed strong for his sake, but Harry had often caught him tearing up just looking at him, and staring into space, deep in thought. He kept promising to stay by him, no matter what, that he wouldn’t ever leave him.

 Harry, despite his strong façade, was nervous and worried. And often it showed. One day, he was feeling particularly low. He was just moping around on the couch, when Louis walked into the room with an easy smile, and sat down next to him.

“Hey beautiful,” he said brightly, pecking his lips. Being in a horrible mood, Harry scowled, and turned away.

“Aw babe, what’s wrong? Look at me love, turn your beautiful face towards me so I can see your pretty eyes,” Louis cooed and sweet talked, hoping to cheer him up, but it had an opposite effect.

 “MY EYES ARE NOT BEAUTIFUL, LOUIS! I’m gonna go blind soon, and I’m already so dependent on you….. why.. why are you here?” Harry shouted, voice growing softer and sadder with each word. Louis first looked taken aback, but he quickly regained himself.

 “What do you mean? Why would I not be here?” he asked gently, turning Harry’s face towards him, to see his eyes filled with tears, looking desperate. Harry took in a sharp breath.

“why haven’t you left me yet? Why are you here with me, when you could have someone who’s not so needy, and can actually see? Why are you wasting your time on me? What did I do to deserve you? Why…” he rambled, but was cut off by an appalled Louis.

“Do you really think all that?” Louis, asked, hurt. Harry didn’t reply, not meeting his gaze.

 “Answer me, Harry. Do you actually think and doubt all that?!” Harry nodded sadly. 

“Then you just don’t know me well…”

“Lou…”

“No, Harry. I can’t believe you even thought that. I promised you I wouldn’t leave, and since when have I broken promises?”

 “Yeah, but,”

“Harry, the fact that you may go blind does not make me love you any less. You’re not needy, you’ve been so strong, and you know I love to do things for you. Any time spent with you is never a waste, they are always the best times I have. I don’t want to leave you, I can’t, I love you so much for that. Its me who should be lucky to deserve you! So don’t ever ever dare to think that I’m gonna leave you!” Louis said forcefully, trying to get it out once and for all that he was not leaving Harry.

“L-Louis…” he stuttered, and a sob escaped his mouth, and before he knew it, he was clutching Louis shirt tightly and crying into his chest, finally letting go. Louis hushed him, just holding him, knowing he had to cry it out. After a few minutes, his sobs turned into sniffles, and he looked up at Louis with red rimmed eyes.

“I-I’m sorry Lou, I just…” he trailed off uncertainly. Louis shook his head slightly.

“It’s fine, babe. Just never doubt that again. You know I love you, right?”

“Yeah… I love you too… so much.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

 And that only reduced Harry’s doubts and insecurity a little. But he was worried, and they affected his moods. One second he would be alright, and next second he’d be looking deathly angry. He often snapped at Louis when he did small things for him, saying he ‘can do it myself’, regretting his tone later on, because throughout the whole deal, Louis was nothing but supportive and patient.

Whenever they were going up stairs, Louis would lead him by the hand, because once Harry had slipped and hurt himself, when a brief moment of blindness took over him. Since then Louis was always careful, but this annoyed him to no end.

 “Louis, you don’t need to be so…so wary! I am perfectly capable of doing things myself!!” Harry said, trying not to raise his voice. It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate the gestures, but he just didn’t realize how much he needed them.

 Louis didn’t say anything, but his face showed his slight hurt.

“I mean, they’re stairs for god’s sake! I’m not a baby,” he huffed indignantly.

“Never said so, Haz. But you don’t need to do it alone, I’m just worried,” Louis said softly, not wanting to infuriate Harry more.

Harry’s rage and irritation was blinding, he was barely aware of what he was doing. “WHAT? You think I’m gonna- aagh!” his angry rant was cut off when his vision quickly blacked, and he braced himself to fall flat on the stairs, but it never came.

Instead, almost immediately, a pair of arms pulled him back against a firm chest, steadying him. His eyes were scrunched shut, heart racing, and breath sharp due to the sudden shock.

 “Fall? Yes. But never completely, cause I’ve always got you,” Louis’ angelic voice murmured soothingly into his ear, trying to calm him down. And it had an immediate effect; Harry felt his heart rate go back to normal, exhaling shakily and slackening against his body.

“Lou…”

“You need me Harry,” he said, lips grazing the shell of Harry’s ear as he shivered, “ and I want to be there for you. I’ll have your back even when you push me away. You know why?” he asked, lacing their fingers which were resting on Harry’s chest.

“Why?” he asked like a child, innocent.

“Because I love you, so much.” He said softly, rocking them slightly from side to side, still hugging him tightly from the back.

Despite Harry’s larger frame, he felt small, as he melted into the embrace, seeking comfort.

 “ ‘M sorry Lou…For getting mad at you,” he said in a small voice, as he turned in Louis’ arms, head hung low. Louis smiled, and pulled his face up to meet his eyes, and placed a chaste kiss on his lips, having already forgiven him.

 

As the days passed, Harry’s condition only got worse. He had large moments of blindness from time to time. Louis was eager to keep Harrys happy all the time, giving in to whatever he said.

 Harry’s days of vision were nearly at an end, and he seemed to be increasingly aware of it, expecting to turn totally blind any day. He spent every possible second close to Louis, staring at him for ages, drinking him in, as if he were trying to carve in Louis’ image into his brain forever.

As on every other night, they were lying together on the large bed, close to each other despite the space. The only source of light was the bed lamp, casting its soft glow on both of them. As the warm golden light fell on Louis’ face, Harry couldn’t help but gaze at him, and think of how beautiful he looked.

 

The low light accentuated his sharp features, eyelashes casting shadows on his cheekbones, skin almost glowing, cerulean blue eyes staring right back at him, and thin, yet full lips quirking up into a small smile. Harry felt his heart clench painfully; one day he wouldn’t be able to appreciate the beauty before him as much as he was now.

 “Harry…”

 

“Hmmm?”

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Louis’ tentative question snapped him out of his trance, and he smiled weakly at him. He shook his head.

“Lou? Can i…. can I do something?” Harry asked lowly. Louis looked at him in confusion, but immediately said, “Of course. Anything you want.”

Harry slowly raised his hands, and placed them on either side of Louis’ face, palms down. After staring at him intensely for a few minutes, he closed his eyes, and started trailing his fingers over his face. He started off by feeling down from his forehead, over his closed eyes, over his nose, over his high cheekbones, and slowly paused at Louis’ lips, feeling his breath coming out in shallow pants.

Harry could feel Louis’ anticipation as he slowly leaned in, eyes still closed. He first ended up bumping noses with him, but slowly placed his lips on Louis’, and after waiting a second, moved his lips against his, kissing him slowly. They both kept it sweet, and after a while, Harry pulled away.

Eyes still being closed, he dragged his hand all the way to Louis’ chest, where he could feel his heart beat. He smiled, and cuddled closer to Louis.

“Harry?”

“Yeah?”

 

“What were you…” he trailed off uncertainly. Harry pulled away slightly and opened his eyes to look at him.

 “I was trying to burn in your image into my memory forever, for when I go blind, I wanted to know how it feels like. And I realized, it may be hard, but it makes me love you even more, to appreciate you even more.”

 

“Oh Haz…” Louis said in a choked voice, pulling him as close to him as possible, and felt Harry relax in his hold, and wrap his long arms around his small frame.

“I love you Lou,” he whispered, almost asleep.

“Love you too,” he whispered back.

And Harry slept soundly, Louis’ face on his mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

Harry woke up from his peaceful sleep with the sun’s rays falling on him and making him uncomfortably warm. He yawned and blinked. Shock settled into him as he realized he had just blinked, which meant his eyes were open, but it was still dark.

He scrunched his eyes shut, thinking maybe its one of his bouts of blindness, and opened them again to find, with panic rising in his throat, that he still couldn’t see.

 

“Louis! Lou!” he called out, reaching for his shoulders blindly, but ended up swatting across Louis’ face, which woke him with a startle. 

 “Harry? Harry?! What’s wrong?” he asked, voice shaking as he saw Harry’s pale face.

 

“I’ve…. I can’t see Louis,” Harry said, strangely calm. He heard Louis gasp.

“What…what do you mean?” Louis asked, voice shrill.

“I’ve gone blind. I’ve … I’m blind.”

“No! No, you can’t be… it’ll come back, just wait”-

“No. Louis. It wont. It’s not dim vision, I cannot see a thing,” Harry said, unmoving and sounding absolutely calm.

“Harry…Harry it’s gonna be okay, alright? Don’t worry love. Maybe …. Maybe its just… you can still see,” Louis rambled, trying to comfort Harry, while it was him who needed to calm down.

“But Louis, I still have the light with me. I still have my light, and as long as I do, I am not afraid, and nor should you be. I’ve got my light,”Harry said firmly. Louis stopped panicking for a minute, and looked at Harry, confused.

“What do you mean?”

“I have my light with me, Louis. You are my light.”


End file.
